Good morning, my friend. Happy Saturday! To our relief, here is the weekend. Thank Goodness. Ah, in my latest post before this one, I was an absolute mess. Terrible state of mind, sobbing without control. Whatever caused it, I can't point to a precise reason that made me particularly exhausted on the emotional side. Maybe frustration due to any reason in particular, perhaps frustration over life's emptiness at moments, maybe loneliness, as I missed my excellent dear friend, that I love, and that I don't get to chat much rhese says. Fear for the worse, exaggerated or not. And of course, given my mind's strain, I could not help but to woe myself and sob. Whatever the case, I was also lacking one medicine on my prescription, that I fortunately restored access to, ever since. How irritating, how sad it is, that I must rely on those chemical balancing drugs to keep myself from drifting one direction or the other in extreme ways. I do not thrive on ny OCD diagnosis, and specially not with the explosion of cases of diagnosis and misdiagnosis around me. When people that are much more empty spirtually than me claim to thenselves the title of "neurodivergent", a word I abhor, and make it their whole reason for being, or excuse for very bad behavior. Fear of being associated with woke or left crap really make me, also, more sober over how to navigate my condition. That being said, it does hold water, it is not without reason that I was indeed diagnosed with this condition. Anyway, whatever the reason be, the medicine did help to mitigate the very bad mind tornado. One should be thankful for the miracle of modern chemistry. Imagine how much worse one's life would be without such advances in medicine.
On the road to Frutinger Aero, such a nice aesthetic...
I have been thinking about these themes a lot, specially thanks to, again, James Lindsay, an author I follow with enthusiasm. Just about the Marxification of education, a serious issue in my own country, that had the great misfortune of being the birthplace of a demon of name Paulo Freire, one of the most powerful monsters in hell. It is a topic for a book, and in fact for many books, but I have been thinking about that, and about the death of the country I live in, Brazil. Just the sad concrete streets, baked by the sun, sterile. The harsh concrete walls, sometimes covered in ghastly incoherent inscriptions done by aerosol paint, what some pretentiously call graffiti, I do think those are incantations, whispers from Hades, because that is the spirit of hell: chaos. The woes of 20th century were felt in Brazil, not as in the wars of the old continent, but the causes of such wars: its terrible ideas, what happens when somone deviates from the classical liberal ideas, or twist them in unrecognizable directions, until they cease to be it. Another topic worth of books... but that I should mention it here briefly, as it is also something that causes me pain, but also that gives me purpose, one of many things: to understand the chimeras that challenged my life in such coward ways, and maybe someday defeat them, but at least to return home, to my own intellectual integrity. Such is life. I wish it was different, I would have preferred not have gone through any struggle session, as going on with one's laments without it is hard enough.
Well, this post was more of a more sober expansion of the chaotic state of my mind the last Tuesday. I am happy that I am recovered for now, at the end of the day, whatever the means. The topics here mentioned are some I should talk more about at some point, but for now, I think the post is getting too big, is it not? A blog post should not have so many lines, as it get tiresome to go through these ones, if at all. So, I finish the post here, and with concrete hopes to return sooner rather than later, with more thoughts, ideas, and so on. One step at a time!! Thank you dear reader for being here, what a joy! Wish you the best! Happy new weekend, make sure to enjoy those moments.
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