In Which a Train of Thought is Kept Longer than it usually is... A short comment on the Nature of Work as well

Good morning, dear friend, reader of this present post! Tell me, how are you? How is the weather? For me, it is the coldest it has been in a year or so. 21 Celsius, and I must say, I love it. I want to enjoy every minute of it, it will likely not be as cold anytime soon. And I am okay, though again, a lot of mental turbulence due to specially loneliness. I am affected by trauma also, and I really prefer not to use such word, it risks raising the level of hyperbole, and devaluing the rest, but I have no other word for it, it is trauma, and it exhausts me, it is like a pike in my brain, I hate it, it hurts physically. Of course, when I write such vulnerable line, I risk attracting some bad thought by someone, that desires to analyze my every move. I don't like that. Instead, this is just about some sad events over the course of high school and hints of it after, with some bad interactions on social media. This is not to invite scrutiny over my ideals, they are my own in spite of the bad moments, and not because of it. I am sad because of the events, but not because of my ideals, in fact those ideals sustain me. And I also am aware at times it is a trade off, you trade being in company to slicing a side of you to fit in. At times, being on one's own is better than being around people that are promiscuous or that listen to music with horrible tuning... it is what it is.

Yesterday we had the beta 3 release of iOs 27, overall a solid title on the iPhone history, but with caveats: though the first beta was, for me, an overwhelming success, the second one caused havoc. I have a feeling that this installation caused my memory on the phone, which is immensely limited as it is, to be reduced to double digit megabytes. It made me think even further about a new phone, which at this point is a plan I have been devicing since around 2024. iPhones, that I am enamored of, deeply, the love affair of a generation, are expensive, so it may take a while to switch. I pray hope this year it works out, but we'll see. Anyway, back to iOs 27 beta 2, of the developer branch. The other issue was the phone heating more than it should. It seems both of those problems have been alleviated by this update, the beta 3 of the developer branch. I would say it is early to declare, though. 

I like being reclined in my own bed and to write, except it always makes me so sleepy, it is quite annoying on that end. I pray hope I can finish a post today, maybe draw later, I have one drawing I want to do to my friend Jack, that drawing should be more of a challenge because I will see how the doodle will look with a beanie. Those are the loose plans, but I am not sure if they will turn to fruition. One step at a time.

That was yesterday, fortunately this morning was also a pleasant one! It was not as cold, but the sleep was better. I have not drawn yet, I do not desire to force it too much, I should have in mind it is a hobby, it is not a job to be performed. I don't want to treat a job as a bad thing, but a job implies a routine, a monetary gain after something was successfully done, provided. That is not how my drawings work, neither do I gain anything from them, nothing certain anyway, nor do I naturally incline myself to such schedules. The reward I may get is a smile and a kind word, a good compliment, a nice feedback, a conversation that nourishes my lonely self. But none is a guarantee. I praise those that can draw on command and do it well, for I have a mind too chaotic for that at the present moment, I would not thrive under such work. I want to draw, I have some ideas... but not exactly now, no, I just sat on my bed, recline it to write and perhaps finish another piece of journal's entry. Leave it for another moment.

I think this is a good point to wrap today's post, I am happy with the final result, even if it was torn between two days. Rarely can I keep a train of thought for this long. Perhaps a celebration is in order! In any case, I should be back to the present publication at some point, hopefully before this weekend. We'll see, until then, I wish you the best! Rejoice in the day the Lord has made, and I hope I can be here before long, farewell just for now.