Good afternoon, dear reader, my great friend! Happy Sunday, I wish you the best. How was your weekend overall? How are you? How is the weather? As for me, the weather is, by what I usually see in my area, cold, the maximum temperature did not reach even 28 celsius. It has been raining a great deal, which is a climate I particularly like. As for my current emotional state, if I had to give it a grade, from 1 (deep melancholia) and 10 (bliss) I am around 5 or 6, meaning, slightly frustrated and neutral. The weather pushes my mood up, because it is likely the coldest day of the year so far. But the absence of dear friends makes me extremely sad. Johannes and Evan, I have not heard of them in a while. I miss them both greatly and it has been making me tearful. I did make some other friends recently, but one person can never replace another. Each friend is unique, so when one is very absent, I feel its distance and suffer as a result. It makes me not want to do anything, really. Nothing to amend the sorrowful state I am in. Lonelines and frustration, unfulfillment. Of course, nothing new to me, but it always suck a lot, more than I can express.
Well, anyway... I hope you are better than me at the moment, my great friend! And, even if I don't feel like doing anything, I can think of what to do still, for when I am on a better mood. In the list, it is the same as always: games, drawing, and reading. Not much else to do... sometimes it is enough, though, to make me live overall satisfied. Writing is also an option, something I am doing at the moment. What games can I play? I mean... today, I did some Victoria 3 and Sims 3... if I feel more like it, soon I could play some Age of Empires, perhaps. I do apologize for this post being so gloomy, but this is a venue I have to express my sadness. It does feel like there is no tomorrow for me. My few friends that lift me up being absent, and the taste for joy gone as a result. I feel inadequate. Like I said, I hope you are better than me, I hope my mood may improve as well. Someday he will answer my message, and we will chat for a day or so, that would restore my joie de vivre. Specially if the conversation is true and touching. Every friend owe each other the truth. When there is something on the way, the communication suffers as result.
I am tired of nightmares, keep dreaming about being back on High School, having to deal with the stress of endless tests and loneliness, that at the time was even deeper than it is now. And I did try to keep my middle school friends, but they forsake me very fast. And I was left alone to rot. I really don't miss either the stress of the eve of my friends leaving school, nor the loneliness that followed, and those ghastly mediocre petty people around me during high school, few being redeemable, only one remains a friend to this day. And even today, the light is flickering on that friendship as well. I am on my knees apologizing for keep writing such sad text, but I continue, I have no one else to share this. Better as well leave it to the void of the internet, maybe someone will relate, maybe the friends will come back, though I doubt it.
I think this is it... will I keep being around? Definitely, but life can be impossible at moments and I retreat. I don't know if I will upload a picture for this one, this is more of a lamentation. As I said, I hope you are in a better state than I am right now, and if you find yourself in melancholy, well, you are not alone, I am also in this sorry situation. When I return to the blog, I hope I can write something more edifying. Maybe I will have a better dream, and I will be able to have more sleep. Until then, I see you soon, thank you, and once again, wish you the best...
Comments
Post a Comment