Good morning, my friend! Happy Saturday, yet another one, how cool is that? Weekend is here, which is always a pleasant moment! How are you, today? And, of course, how was the week? As for me, I am okay, I'd say. Thursday was very rough, I had such terrible headache. Friday I had to take some headache relief pills, they helped me keep it in check. Could this be a sign that I may need new lenses for my eyesight? I should visit the oftalmologist once more. Truth is, I should have visit it sooner, but the tight finances make my commute around rarer. If possible, I will have some financial relief this April, one to withstand more than some days. God give me constraint not to spend more than I should. Ah, these days, though, it is hardly indulgence, but necessity. And even necessity has become too much to afford. It is a grim reality in Brazil, and getting worse as the dreaded grasshoppers swarm the land, devouring the savings of all, from the lower middle class to the wealthy patron. The country has been consolidating itself as a rule-by-decree minister led oligarchy, where a bureocrat deep-state elite call the shots, and only people with the right connections can advance in good positions of work. My dream of a more free and lasseiz-faire Brazil, drifting further and further away... not all places are made equally in this land, though. Some states are on better conditions than others, but the full picture is gruesome. God give me resilience to outlive such establishment, it cannot sustain itself for good.
In any case, it does feel at times I am living an empty existence in such a hellscape of a country. God gave me the gift of being more resistant to nihilism and cynicism, that prevents me from sinking. But, ah, I wish I could feel like the words I write and the drawings I make, that they had meaning, that they could bring good things, instead of having this impression I do not matter, I am in an aimless existence with no stakes. Would I want it to be even different, though? It feels like that, I suppose, because I have no pressing matters, only lingering anxiety on the background. Fortunately, no high pressure, something that would crush me easily and mercilessly, but an ongoing one, be it the financial issues, the ongoing nuclear fallout that is Brazil at the moment, with no sign of going anywhere better. The sheer absurdity of the cultural main names, that are happy to disregard good sense of many in the name of anihilation because they want so. Because they can cause it. As I said before, God give me the resilience to survive, outlive this disastrous moment. I was not meaning to have a post of frustration and desperation, and yet, here we are. I can only thank you, dear reader, for sticking around. I am happy to see you, whomever you may be.
What else is there to be said, for today? I did update my resume some days ago! It was overdue, and now all the info is accurate! Maybe this better curriculum could help me land into a good work, in a place with air conditioning, and some comfort, hopefully no high pressure and nothing I cannot handle. I am really, really not looking for a challenge, not going out of my way to suffer, like many do nowadays, as they take their freezing cold baths, toil at unending exercises, I can only see that baffled. I spent my whole life trying my best to avoid such toil and tribulation, why some would actively go and make the opposite move? I cannot understand. And I rather avoid stoicism as well. Whenever some narration becomes too prevalent, I take much suspicion to it. Let it be the catholicore folk, the stoic bros, I detest and avoid them all, that is not my branch of christianity, not my pursuit of beauty, and not the morality I endorse. I know I am but just a nobody, but for my own sake, I do hold my own approach.
I suppose this should be where I'd leave for today's post, a more introspective one, I'd say. Good to have written it. I always try to be more active on writing and drawing, on my creative hobbies, while not twisting my arm and breaking my legs as to force any drop of thought nor any forcing of the words to come out. I don't need that, it is no job for me, no high end pressure. At times it feels aimless, but of the evils, the lesser one. In any case, I am so fond of having you around, dear friend, dear reader! Maybe I will see you again for the next post, coming up really soon, hopefully at some point on next week! Until we meet again, my good pen pal! Farewell, stay with your head held high, if you can, keep a gentlemanly and proper attitude! See you real soon.
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