In Which the honeymoon ended and Jerusalem is falling

Good evening, dear friend, dear reader of this present post! How are you? Hope your new week is opening towards a nice beginning. One step at a time. How is the weather? Here, at least the temperature is amene, no small feat concerning the tropics. As for me, I am okay. They day went slow in the beginning, and remained so through most of it. I was tired and napped through most of it, though little rest I get. I was plagued by an awful nightmare. The good thing about dreams is that you can usually tell they are not real, some detail slips out and you can unveil its lack of existence. Doesn't make such nightmare any more pleasant, but it does make it lesser evil of a moment. 

I have been playing the game of the season for me, which is Victoria 3. Of course, such game having the feature of delayed gratification and mental build up, it is not always at the moment a good experience, and I am not saying there is guaranteed catharsis afterwards, but what I mean is: after you allow your mind to rest, even if most matches do not reach 1936, they are worth it. It is not the only game that has such configuration, but once again I am captured by this title. I switched things a bit the past day, going from the Russian Empire to America. It has been a good move, I love playing as the Tsars in Russia, but visiting the new world is also very much enjoyable, albeit as I said, most times not immediately. For example, though now I am entirely drained, as I finished the process on another match, fortunately once I rest, I will not be in a dreadful position, but I will be standing once again, and hopeful to even return to Vic3, which can be a problem.

I want to play some other thing that I appreciate once I am back to my desk. I am thinking maybe of Anno 1800, which is another delayed gratification experience, and slightly more draining, details to keep in mind... I could also revisit Agr of Empires 3, and Pharaoh... we'll see. For the past few weeks I am more prone on going for Victoria 3, but well... it is about balance, and a bit of variety is good. As I mentioned, I just finished with a Vic3 match right now, it did not go well and for this present moment I am quite drained. I try not to feel like the world is crumbling because my match is not going as planned, but exhaustion and over stimulus are not a good combination... 

Anyway, maybe I could consider also a time to not return to videogames but to draw instead... one moment at a time in my pursuit of fulfillment in daily tasks, I did mention before that a boring normal routine should not be shunned. The issue is when that becomes deep melancholia and apathy, the eyes are empty and the mind is void. But one state is no opposite to the other. One can have a stressful day feeling as numb and as dead inside as one that is passing through the same awful mind situation but is in resting position. 

Should I wrap the words around here? I did write a good deal already, though I still have more in my mind, as the hypersonic carrousel of noise and events in the world around me keep going, fastet and out of control. In the first place, I am blessed with the fact no one cares what I think. That takes away pressure. I did hear of the current polemic ravaging the spectrum of politics I am in, the conservative-libertarian right, with a strong, inflexible free marketeer moral frame, which is the best one can have, and the correct one. That polemic is involving the fact some more populists want a list of the evil man. I personally don't care. Consequences for one's bad deeds are cathartic, but I won't pretend like it moves me much with the possibility it does not even exist in the end. I am tired of the performative moralism of so many, and clearly, as the christians and judaic faithful after the fall of Jerusalem, there is a strong impulse to dissociate with a part of the right that, though not entirely divorced from my own principles and the one of my peers, definitely too tolerant with some positively evil firebrands, that embracing the leftist gnosticism and its collective ideals, with the suffocating postmodern traditionalist trend, have break havoc in what was once a much more cohesive group of individuals. Clearly the honeymoon is over, bickerings become increasingly damaging. None of the individual's frame quoted are quite the same, but one group clearly is too lenient to the other, while the people that cultivate the memory of, for example, the great Lady Thatcher, and so many of her footings, are being increasingly violently pushed aside, while my ideas at least refuse, with the exhaustion I have, to be put on irrelevance and shaming again.

There is a lot to be said, and specially as my own country, Brazil, is dangerously and hypersonically circling the drain, the oligarchs of socialist and even satanic leaning gleefully pursuing a trade and diplomatic fight with America that they not only cannot win, they must not. And as I mentioned to a friend, the worst part is, unlike other countries that though oppose the city upon a hill, have decided to work with them, we have a group of people steering the country, that would burn a thousand souls at minimum if that means saving their temporary sitting muscles, and to push their agenda of socialism and doom. They are mad, they are willing to cause the violent collapse of the 8th biggest country on the globe in territory, if that means fulfilling their darkest desires. A lot to be said, at the same time, I myself am exhausted, and at the present moment don't have nothing edifying to contribute apart from: I see it happening and I weep, as Jeremiah did with the future ruins of Jerusalem. Memento mori.

Now I definitely have written enough! I know the post ended up too big, but I had what I wanted to mention, and what I must have had. Anyway, when should I be back in the blog for more thoughts, ideas, routine and so on? Hopefully by the end of this week! I pray that not as late as the next one. Until then, I wish you the best, farewell for now!!