Good morning, my friend, reader of this present post! The doors of the divagation store and society are always open to you! How are you this beginning of afternoon? Hopefully things are okay? How is the weather? Have fall season start to approach your way, should you be located on northern areas? For me, it still is winter, but Spring is hinting its approach, a bit of a chaotic windswept of temperatures... at times it is more on the fresh and rainy, but on others the rays of sun are like they tend to be in most year, anyway. And I am okay... Yesterday was one rough one, because of frustrations and because of the desperate feel of lingering boredom. Today I am also okay... A bit of a rough moment at home alas. Don't know, I just feel a bit guilty, always, when it seems I am at fault for something that I cannot name, and no one can name, but their faces are of accusation, even when they are not... I try to look for hints of displeasure, and the more I do, the more I feel guilty. I am a college student, as you all know, I have been for a while, given I finished High School (Thankfully, NEVER AGAIN, still have nightmares on that place) in 2016. Since late 2024, it seems things have gotten worse financially, not all at once... I did predict much destruction with the left coming in power again, in 2022, but it is easy to say "things are hard", just for saying it... Things are much worse than anyone could have predicted, I hate to see that conservatives, and people that are more aware of economic fundaments have to suffer because some idiots want to have their public service jobs secured somehow... It is an evil set of people. And the people on... I say this with much reservation... my side of things, or supposed to be, on a position to do something effective, well, they do not move inches. Media wise, they act like they are the martyrs of the massacre of King Herode, but we of the paralyzed middle class live life and it is just... the worst of all worlds. I think of the idea for a book, because that also matters, the personal things matter, if there is any space for individuality at all in those moments of horror, I say and affirm: it is the small things, so yes, I want my Midmas, I want my petty projects and heresay, and I want some freaking project besides the long term one of college. That is the idea of writing some of my ideas on urban planning and the catastrophe that is brutalism. Of the loneliness epidemic, that I am very much a part of. Of why people are quietly giving up... Many say the problem, because those that live it are not really there to do it. I am one that can write on that, as I could as well be one. One Hikkikomori, even if not exactly by choice. Many today are, how can't we be, in the grey roads that are immediately brushing against the front door of the edifices, where many reside. And no, no one should be forced to come out, we are trying to survive, these are the only places where we still have some action, given the grey of the townscape lingers. I hate the idea of planning society, I hate socialism, you all know that, not exactly due only to their big and sinister deeds, but the petty acts they do in daily lives, that cause so much woe. And yes, it is their bureocracy, and the pencil pushers and so on. I do not hate anyone, but I do hate these incentives that muddle the free market, that corrupt genuine and true good capitalism, which is free market on a legal frame. No, I write because I hate people talking crap on what I think is right. And they are so loud to say so much nonsense, that if it only come to hurt them, it would be all fine by me, but no, hunger comes for all, it taps on the window, like that musical "Cabaret" sings... Ah... anyway.
A huge paragraph, I am aware. Not all is bad, it is just a bad moment, bad peaks of sadness come, they go, it is not exactly depression... I hope not anyway. I have this book in my head, drawings I could do, even if I question the point when so many are on my folders... maybe I should take them out and revisit them... I am not sure. The weight of so many drawings is a bit haunting... There is this Thomas Sowell essay contest on the Hoover Institute that I could consider partaking in it. I am not an essay writer, and I do try when I must. It is a nightmare to write those more structural texts. I do love Mr. Sowell, he is superb... I could use the money of the award, too, but just the thought I could have 1% chance to maybe get the prize... who am I? Just a guy on the internet, not a particularly handsome one, in fact quite hideous if the comments on Instagram say something. I do hate having so many annonymous people have so much weight when one good comment usually I tend to dismiss... Quite unfair, isn't it? It is the bias that for so long kept us alive in the old dwellings, when food was, if now not secure, at that time non existent. With the requirement of having to chase those huge mammals, those giants, and having to try their luck on berries that could very much be poisonous... It of course have its uses even today, but not in the way it wants to go. Such is bias, such is life. I did mention that song on Cabaret, it is important to say that is not money that makes the world go round, but it does feel like that when you are in an economy ruined by socialism, and it takes a billion marks to buy a nice meal. Fun how it rhymes...
I am so grateful to still be able to write, and for you, dearest of friends, my so kind reader, that I never seen the face of, but that I am so fond of! Thank you! And I pray that God bless you, and God may move some strings to maybe cause the engines of nature to perhaps tick some buttons to then, who knows, improve life for me and mom, my brother, dad, my grandparents... I won't say Family, that is an abstract - important, sure, but it feels impersonal. What is more personal is to say whom they are, who you are referring to... I have seen crazier things before, I believe in angels, then! I think it could be as well time to perhaps wrap things up in today's post? I did write substancially! Not sure if anyone will bother reading, if so, as I said, thank you. Never to be taken for granted. If only writing a book was as easy as doing it on the blog. I have a page dedicated to write "how the book works" and I did not progress in it a bit. but here? Wow, on the days where coffee does its trick? I never stop hah. Anyway, back to track...
When should I be back to the publication that I run? Sooner rather than later! I really hope I can come up with something real soon, out of thoughts, ideas, woes and wins, little blessings and small disgraces of daily life, and you know, thank God we have a quotidian still, that's more than what those in North Korea do, there where their lives are not lives but cogs in the machine of the dictador whose realm seems to be endless, not in a good way. Pray us all that we still have the pleasure, the blessing and the privilege to still have daily lives, not just mechanic movements. I will return with another post perhaps on the weekend? It could be a good idea, we'll see... until then, wish you a merry end-of-midmas, and rejoice, for that means Christmas is right around the corner! We shall feast with the candles of joyful bliss! One day at a time, isn't that all we can do?
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