In Which July Ends in a bad way, August Begins on road to Recovery

Good morning, friend, dear reader of this post. How are you? I hope you are in good health, you are well, and I want to say to you: Happy August! The month has started under the shadow of a turbulent July, and a turbulent June, and a turbulent May. Not all of those months were bad or to be discarded as a lost trimester, but fact is, for one reason or the other, and in spite of the lovely weather of winter time, it has been a challenging set of moments. College stress, anxiety spikes caused by a number of reasons, such as loneliness and the fear of losing friendships for some question or another. Late July was a bit of a peak of this crisis. And July 31st was my aunt's birthday. I want to see her smile, so I went to her birthday celebration at the restaurant. It was of course nice to see her, and to see my uncle and my aunt married to him, she is such a wonderful lady, and I always assumed her in the family without questioning. My cousins are nice too. At surface, it went fine. But on my side of things, it was a disaster.

This is due to my brother and my horror in seeing how far he has descended into marxism, that destroyer of souls, that evil poison of the mind. It is painful to have someone nearby physically but so far gone mentally, where you have so little to relate to, besides sharing parents and a house. It is sad that he has no counterpoint to his derangement. I cannot be that counterpoint, and that hurts me. The reason is that it would nor be effective, and would wound me much more than it would move him away from communist ideas. He would treat me with that badly concealed contemptment he has, that condescending attitude he has. Like alcohol, it is not like it changes you, marxism, but it makes what is bad in you much worse, it validates it, and he has no counterpoint, as I mentioned. The family that could influence him in a better direction, more fruitful and less resentful has no moral ground to do so, they are the same. The rest is in same position as me, no influence, and nothing besides a moral highground that would be disconsidered by him anyway. Not effective in changing his mood. I am tired, and I have my own laments.

I just hope I can have a peaceful birthday, at the end of the day. If any surprise, that it please be a positive one. I wish I could talk to dear friend Johannes, that will likely not be possible, alas. I mentioned before that I would love to switch phones, but any gift would do. Really, since the second semester started officially, I pray hope it may be one of joy and fulfillment. I don't know what could happen, at tines I see a fog as hard as a wall in my eyesight, I can only pray hope that the worst of 2026 is in the first semester. There is no need for a season of bliss, though if it could come, I'd be happy. No, not as far as bliss, just easing of the ailments.

I am happy I could write a new post, at times this task seems out of reach. I wrote this post at the spawn of several days, so it may seem disjointed, alas. I thought of rewriting it, but I did touch on an important topic, the horrible celebration of July 31st. I will then leave the post as it is. Should come back soon with more thoughts and ideas. I cannot expect myself to recover from so many strong and bad tides, one after the other. Please, I beg of you to be patient with me, one step at a time. 

This August, I hope I can indeed recover, but it may take a while. I am tired, my mood is very fragile. I am grateful to have you here, though, and I wish you the best. See you again real soon, hopefully around this new week. We'll seec we figure it out, we usually do that, don't we... farewell, just for now! Cheers.