Good evening, my friend, reader of this post! Happy Sunday! We are at the verge of a new week, I should of course ask how are you? How was your last week, and how was the weekend? Also, how is the weather? I will answer those questions as well, last week went okay, as far as I remember, and today has been also an okay one. Not much was done, witht the exception of today, when I did some classes for college. I know it is not ideal when I cannot write, as nothing comes to mind, and cannot draw, even when I feel inclined to do so... I have been trying not to think bad and dead end inducing thoughts, such as "why am I doing this", "what is the point", some days are better than others on that regard, and the mental medicine helps a great deal. After all rhese years taking them, I finally grow more respect for them, witbessing my mental health improve( after a terrible september. Even so, I still catch myself dangerously close to those bad questionings, that lead nowhere. It does not help I am naturally inclined to want to get to the bottom of things. Not always worth it is the lesson I should take from this season. There were moments I wanted to know all about the people I listen the music of, or the friends and pen pals I talk with. Today, the least I am aware, the better. Does not concern me, which is a blessing. You know, I don't like making drawing plans, because I get frustrated when those are not achieved. So, maybe another day I will draw, this moment is not today. I am writing, so that is a win! I will of course try to have more than 4 posts this month, though I cannot commit to such goal 100%...
These days, the weather has been heating, as we approach summer. I do not like thid season, but I do love christmas, so there is tnat. I desire to have a good season, even if grandma can be a bit lesser kind at times, and unfortunately we see ber aging. She is 80, at the moment, and I for the first time realize she is an elder. I do accept this is where life goes, to entropy, as my late grandpa used to always point out, still, it is never easy... I am sure even if I don't see as many christmas decorations, it still will be worthy of rejoicing, for the celebration of the birth of the savior. I am not that religious, hut I do take comfort at times knowing I have a God that loves me. I don't care what boring and malicious people will say, there is a God, and He loves me. And because of Him, so much good comes, so much rejoicing, redemption and beautiful things worthy of being noticed and celebrated.
I hope I can write some more here at some point. I really really don't want to abandon the blog, I like to write, and I won't think that is all for not, even when I just ramble about my problems. I feel bad doing so, but keeping it all in causes a hufe burden and I desire relief, and I think I deserve it, too. I don't desire entitlement, of course, but... I just want to have some happiness, some rejoicement. Depression is not cool, it is not artistic, mental ailments don't make you special, they do not make you "neurodivergent" whatever this ridiculous expression means. It just sucks, there is nothing uplifitng about OCD, or anxiety. Depression sucks. It can go to hell where it belongs. If we can have some normalcy, balance and happiness, we should have it.
I think this is where I am leaving this post on. Ah, don't worry, my good friend, kind reader... I will be back, I hope this week. I think what I have written today is important, I definitely meant it. I don't like big posts that overstay their welcome, though, so like I said, I am finishing it here. Thank you, dear friend, for everything. I wish you the best, God bless you!!
Comments
Post a Comment