Happy Tuesday, dear friend, reader of this post!! How are you, this day that still has a lot of potential? In any case, I wish you the best, and hope you are okay. As for me, I am stable, just with the quotidian lamentations, but since I have my medicines, I am okay. What have I been doing? Just tweaking around with the mods I got since the last post I wrote, some days ago. Not all were approved by me, alas. In fact, in Victoria 3, I had to get rid of three big ones that were conflicting with the main mod that I use, which is the Dawn of Flavor one. One new thing is that I tried again Civilization 6, as the opening of the mod gates allow me to have more freedom of movement in games I otherwise would ignore. Those are the good news. Bad news is: Civ 6 is not a game I would enjoy nearly as much with the mods I got, and I got a lot of them. When I reinstalled the game, I went window shopping, and I ended up with 67 mods, most of them I activated on the game. It is not a recipe for success, the game loads at a slow pace, as if I wasn't using an SSD. I do not think I could fix that, given it is a lot of extra add-ons to load alongside the main program. This when it loads at all, as it can crash, and in fact does that half of the time. Civ 6, maybe it is potential trash bin once more to the title, only days after I reinstalling it. Alternatively, I could see what mods I actually need, and what I can take out of the matches. Not something I am thrilled to do at the moment.
Besides games, I can't say I have not been productive, given I finished two drawings in a matter of days. I reached the conclusion I'd be much more productive, potentially, if I could have a place dedicated fro drawing, given I do it all on my bedroom's desk, and given the proximity witb the computer and the bed, not the most productive place. That being said... For this slow season, it is a record pace. It is not necessarkly lack of ideas, I have some in my head waiting for an opportunity, but with, so far, little success. . On the reading side, I haven't done much, alas. The book that occupies me is not a bad book, just dry, and as such, I read it slowly and mostly do it when I am prone to do so.
I have been worried about the fact I can only, at most moments, convince myself to get out of bed and do something nice without the prospect of brewing coffee. Sleep has been all ovet the place, and caffeine crashes are more common than not. But anyway, woes are s constant, making a day where a good routine can function better so precious.
February advances at an average rate, I would say, not too fast, but definitely not like the alow march of January. I am happy we are reaching the end month, though, even if financial stress has been escaling fast and I can't find work. As I have come to suspect oit, the job market in my area is, at best, limited and constrained. I look for work on categories and options that suit my service economy based abilities, and the fact is, there is not much for someone with entry-level experience with no college diploma (so far), and one diploma in specific: Admin. I never ever regret having coming to study history as a degree, and I have no plans to even consider returning to admin, but facts are facts, there are not many opportunities here besides admin, this dead end place. I don't want to seem like I am just woeing me, but it is hard, and I will not pretend it is not, and I will not be someone I would not like to be. Maybe it is entirely my fault for not looking for work hard enough, maybe I could do more and haven't figured out how to do more yet. Fact is: finances are reaching debt level, taxes skyrocketed, family is also on a position of debt and borderline desperation. Such is the plight of the Brazilian middle class, on this quite ossified oligarchy, where the bureocrat and crony fanilies waltz through, and raise the difficulty for anyone else sky high. I always worry I am being too catastrophic on my descriptions, I do not want to be innacurate... but I am afraid I am actually sugar coating how bad things are in a collapsed society, that is formed of deeply mediocre, petty people, deformed by the marxist frane and post modern relativism, a fertile ground for all sort of grifters, witch doctors and so on.
Anyway, I have written quite a bit today, maybe it is time to wrap it up for now, given a blog post just don't look pleasant and nice for the reader when it is too long. It is not fair to my friends. When should I return? Hopefully one more post before wrapping up February? Sounds like a stretch but we'll see. I will be here once again real soon, I pray that I have the opportunity by the weekend. Until then, keep up the good work, and I see you again real soon! Hugs and kind regards.
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