In Which one is tired but one must keep goinf

Good morning, dear friend, reader of this post! How are you? How have you been? I certainly hope last week for you was a week of good moments. For me, it was unfortunately exhausting, and I hope you did not have to face it as well. There was the heinous murder of Charles "Charlie" Kirk, by an unhinged, most evil and coward individual, that alone was enough. There is really no other reason strong enough to equal this shock, this most demonic act, when a nightmare drips into reality. I am still recovering, truth be told. Recovering from seeing one of my own intellectual equals being ended in such evil and cold-blooded way. Not to mention the worst of the minds around really letting their worst sides at display, as they... it is hard to believe still... celebrated his slaughter. I don't feel entirely comfortable talking on religious terms, because I am not exactly the most devout christian, if at all. But I prefer to believe in the divine justice. For us humans, we must love even our enemies, and offer forgiveness even for our assassins, if any, because God will be just towards them when time comes, and they will face the worst of the worst punishments for their faults. I prefer to think like that, gives me more room to try and be less resentful, more forgiving and, yes, empathetic, for the lack of better word. I am aware Mr. Kirk disliked the usage of such word and he actually made an incredible instance to justify himself, but for now, I will use the word Empathy. Forgive me, Charlie. 

This of course was followed by the petty laments of routine, but overall, in an eerie way, the days that I do think will have more weight than others even in the future, they were normal, and I am not complaining of that. If my mournful state had more to ir, I'd be crushed. Here I go again speaking in religious terms, but what else to say, if it's true, that it is a blessing that life keeps moving? God is good, and I like the framing of monotheism, of saying God exists no matter if I believe or not. Makes it less an anxious exercise of remembering, more one of living each day. That is why Christmas has all moral highground, is and must be celebrated, because that is the impact of Christ in the world, the decay of the life of guilt, sacrifice and deeper anxiety, and the move towards a frame of forgiveness and benefit of the doubt. Thank God life keeps going.

Anyway, and as it does, I am thinking what to do next for today and for this week. Been thinking of rearranging my desk once more, give it a bit more organization, I would love some more space in potential for drawing... I was using, in a bit of a provisory fashion, my computer in bed, with the triangular pillow and the portable desk. It works at my grandma's, but at home, with my single small bed, it really does not. I returned to my desk, and maybe a change of pace could work nicely. 

As an example of drawing finished some days ago, I did tjis one of z, an imposing buildimg that is so old, hard to belirve, it was done when it was. I am doinf sort of the Filipino fashion, starting with my beloved holiday season as soon as one can! 

It is good to write on the routine, even when it feels mundane. As gossip and heresay bring people together, so does the "ora et labora" of daily life, so to speak. I did play some games, but more on an experimental fashion. I also heard dear Ruben decided to end his sub on my Patreon. While I am so deeply grateful, humbled and most gracious this generous man actively contributed to my drawing motivation and world, I confess I feel a relieved, if that is possible! This is due to having less pressure to draw. I do want to do as many as I can, I want to keep them more casual, though. I have been trying to keep the balance between my hobbies, in any season, one is a bit more neclected. So it is life.

Before I start wrapping up today's post, I am to mention, with my most satisfaction: I did it! I finished all the small tasks for colleege! Tnank the good Lord! Now only the final test and the small composition and will be moving towards next topic, in October! It is frustrating that the passing days saw me not tired, but utterlyexhausted. My eyes refuse to stay I keep dropping my phone in me because I fan.

Writimg is nice and productive, I wish I could pair it with more drawing, but that takes a bit more time. And so on... thank you everyone ln here, happy new week, and may it be one with not any catsstrophe.