In Which Coffee standands for comfort, and April ends with some videogame novelties

Good afternoon, my good friend, reader of this present post! How are you, today? I hope and I do pray your week has been proceeding alright? As for myself, I am okay, just recovering I suppose, from a day where my anxiety was above average! Quite the pain... not sure what caused it. 

In part it is not actually that bad, concerning the fact it was a week of releases on the videogame sphere, of the niche I am happily a part of! We had the new DLC for Victoria 3, the Great Wave, focusing on the naval gameplay and Japanese Meiji Restoration. This one is causing impact on a negative note, even, because the changes in Navy gameplay broke the game in some areas, which are being fixed, currently, just yesterday two more patches were released addressing the most concerning problems. 

Lovely bunny painting by VeryBerry! Zoom in for the exact username on Insta and Twitter/X! 

We had the release of a huge update on the indie title Memoria Polis, a city builder more focused on storytelling than Anno, that is more focused on mechanics. And speaking of Anno: Anno 117 had the release of its delayed DLC, Prophecies of Ash, which add a new set of islands into the main area of the game, including a very big continental vulcanic island. I have been, then, quietly visiting Anno 117, and that game always gives me a very good impression, due to the fact it is so pleasant looking. I am not immune to pretty graphics, and Anno 117 is one of the best looking city builders I have ever seen. Atmospheric is a word to describe it. 

What does this relate to my anxiety? This is the less negative area, because it is related to the fact I could not exactly decide where to begin, what to do next. I wish it was just good struggles, but most anxiety is due to loneliness. I feel anxious to leave my phone for a bit, on the grounds of waiting for Johannes to send me a message so we can talk and so consolidate our happy friendship. I wish I could talk to friends, and even when I do that, I fear it is not enough, that I am becoming a hermit, I already get out of the house little, most of the people I love as the dear friends they are live so distantly away. 

Another reason that tends to cause anxiety is the evaluation I did the other day... I am not sure if I mentioned it before, I trust I did. Isn't it fun? It could say the most positive things about myself, yet I put highlight on what causes the distress. So frustrating! I just want to feel happu with the highlights, and perhaps see the bad sidings clinically. It must be the anxiety, I have natural inclination towards it. It goes for other things as well! I could have a great match of a game, yet I will find some reason to become unhappy over the fact I played, instead of doing something else. If I insteas choose the other path, the opposite becomes true. I become deeply weary of not having time to play. Just wish I could have some more balance... I can only go one step at a time, then.

What are my plans for the upcoming May? Just try and have a good set of days? I would like to make money somehow, but the prospect is so crushing and immense that I may keep on taking my time. I hope I can move more, even if the doors seem shut at my face at the moment, I have the bills to pay... there is the college course, I am worried about my internship situation. So far not much to do on that end, either. A lot that weights in my head, really. At the end of the day, I can only keep on going, and as I tell my friends, go one step at a time. It is really the only thing to do, to proceed carefully, because I know I can be impulsive, and I know also I can stop moving when my mind is congested of chores. One step at a time.

I trust this is a fine position to wrap up today's post? I did write quite a bit! Starting a post in one day and ending on the next few, not ideal, but it is what it is. Of course I should come back soon, hopefully for a more cohesive piece, and I will hopefully write on it without feeling my eyes shutting down every 10 seconds. It is true that without coffee I cannot really function that well, but when I return to have it on ny routine, I feel hostage of it. If I drink, I will feel just slightly sleepy, and will nap frequently. If I don't have it, it is that situation but times 3. I sleep and I wake up with headaches and without feeling rested. I could push through the abstinence phase, but I genuinely love coffee beyond utility nowadays, I adore that hot beverage in the early mid part of my day, specially with milk.

Ah, anyway, I will see you again, hopefully, by next week! We should keep on moving through the new month of 2026! Wish you the very best, farewell but just for now.