In Which I talk of Walls and Ghost Job Entries

Good evening, my friend, reader of this post!! Happy Thursday, almost Friday, I am happy to see you! And specially I am happy that I am writing a post, at all. These days, as it has been the case for some moments, I have immense difficulty in writing. I ought to shout in frustration, really. I cannot stand this difficulty I face. I have tried 3 times or so today, this Thursday, and several more the past day of this week of May 2026. It is depressing, I cannot find the words to describe my thoughts, and sometimes my mind is foggy, so I cannot find thoughts to fill in the words either. 

It is just, I think, rhat I want to write about urban planning, for some reason, and I do not find the words. And I also fail to know where to begin, on a microscopic scale. Though I am still touched with the Jacobs spirit, and I have that project of the book at the back of my head, at times no words arrive, neither the thoughts. I want to write about architecture, since we mention that, but I also find no words or thoughts to fill in the quota, so to speak, of content. 

And it is not a topic that stays on the lane of writing, as with drawing, I am in one of those moments where holding a pencil is a heavy chore. The mind is numb for the creative side, I could blame the fact I am more inclined into gaming the past few days, but does not feel right. I have many hobbies, as it turns out, and also many reasons to be concerned over my life at the moment and my future. It is odd how the 20's go. I am 27, and I am not a fool, but concerning adult life, I am still tattering in the dark, there is not even a hint of light in sight. Not even a train to run through me. Sims 3 is fun, you know... apart from managing the mods, the building of the house, which is on a similar category to architecture and city building, the sim living his life is amusing. I have a mod that makes getting work more in-depth and complex, and still, it is more straightforward than in real life. My sim finds an application on the newspaper or computer, goes to the designated place, and schedules an interview. In real life, most openings online go nowhere. You submit your resume to one of the openings, and that's it. Never a word. And in the application page you don't even get the number or the adress of contact of the company, you leave yours to them, but they do not reciprocate. You don't even get to know if it's a data mining ghost opening, or if it's an old opening that never got updated. Sometimes they leave them announced for months, just that grey area.

I know I am complaining, and yet... is it just whining? Or do I have something else going on? Why some put you down for not finding work? "Oh you are not trying hard enough", "just submit your resume and you'll find something"... maybe why I want to write about urban planning, the modernist city layout with the zoning laws and socialist mindset, it maybe does not assume that you will have to rely on wellfare to survive, but it often is its conclusion. If you live surrounded by walled houses, no reason to stroll by, everything is quite grey and hard surfaced, that makes networking very hard, and you go online then... and that is a whole set of nightmares in itself.

Anyway... I don't know where I am going with this rant, this is not the first nor the last time I will talk over this topic. Just want some catharsis for the moment, this is all. I am doing my college course, and trying to go by, I am grateful to my family always, and I have a God that loves me. Not much else going on that I can point towards, now. At least I get a new blog post entry, so there's that. I think for this post, we are all set? Another one to wrap, man does it bring me a HUGE smile and tears of joy that I could put by one out again. I am sure I will be back real soon with some more entries to share. I hope before next week? I do want to close May with more than 4 entries if I can ask... as usual, I wish you the best, thank you, happy Weekend!!! Please be safe as you can, and farewell for now.