My good friend and excellent reader of this post! I want to wish you a nice Saturday! How are you? How is the weather? Here, where I'm at, the atmosphere is hot, much to my dismay, even if I am not surprised. Living in the tropical area, where the north has winter in December, I have summer. How disheartening it is to have to live under the sunny climate in this sacred time, Christmas, where the celebrations on the birth of Christ are better held under cold conditions. Apart from the heat, the season has been okay. I had some moments of melancholy recently, they are overall managed, though, at least in this moment. Today, I haven't had many reasons to complain or lament, so I cherish this moment of peace a lot, more than I can say.
Here is the portrait I worked for Mr. Knightingale, this morning, before lunch! I will mention it briefly on the next section of this post.
I was listening to the interview done by the Cave of Apelles to Henrik Knightingale, a philosopher and playwriter. He seems charming and very promising. I heard the synopsis of his play, the plot did not capture my attention, alas. But still, I am impressed, he is 22, and seems much more matured than I am, at 25. Ah, how I envy him! How I wish I could be like him, or at least his friend! How frustrating to be surrounded by people so less interesting, so more mediocre. I was so impressed by that, I felt a mixture of feelings from admiration to melancholy and inadequacy, for I like writing as well, and have written stories, and yet, I lack the energy or creativity at times to assemble a piece that will satisfy me. I worked on a small piece of portrait to him! I hope it may be liked, though I am always aware there is much to improve, it is a journey. I think I was talking to dearest Charles about that some other day. About the fact we desire to write one magnum opus after the other, and how this can kill creativity as a whole.
On other note, I really wanted to mention here I am revisiting the story of my favorite historical figure, Catherine II of Russia! I am not sure if I mentioned the book before, but I am always so amazed and inspired to hear of the magnificent russian court during the government of Elisabeta Petrovna! She is indeed my favorite tsarina, a true rococo ruler, one friend of the arts of embroidery and fashion, fireworks, cuisine and bakery, pink and flowers of diamonds! How enchanting, how magnificent is this time in the palatial residences of the grand Russian Empire, and how crazy it is his ascension into the European stage! By that, imagine, in the end of 17th century, Russia was barely western, holding many customs from the bygone Byzantines, the Tartars of Asia. The empire was to modernize dramatically in the 18th century, having erected palaces of gold and a new Venice in the frozen lakes of Finland. In the future, Tsar Nicholas II would have much admiration and sympathy for the Russia that was, during the realm of Alexey, predecessor of the cultural reforms. I adore Nicholas, too. I confess I feel conflicted, as not all of the western influences were for good. The same wind that brought reforms and steady growth in freedom, also brought with it state control and socialism, chimeras that one day would cause Russia to be destroyed, devastated, and would hold millions of dead bodies in its trace of anihilation, such is the absolute evil of socialism, that must always be rejected. But I divagate, I was pointing out to the beautiful court of Elisabeth, its powdered hairs, its beautiful laces of silver thread. What a fairy tale scenario! How much was lost, how much I lament. How I feel inadequate, dressing always in my pajamas, instead of the beyond superb dresses of the 18th century. Ah, I would start to beat myself down, calling me fat and ugly. But I really don't want to do that, it would not be fair with me. I may be chubby, but that is okay. It is not who I am, just my tendency to gain weight plus the lack of desire for exercises, and sugar on coffee. I have plans on proceeding in a surgical procedure to amend some of my weight issues. Like I said, it is not who I am. And I am not ugly, I am a miracle from God. He created me in His image and similarity. And for that, I have the divine sparkle, and if I am enough to God, and He loves me, then this is enough for me to smile and feel content. What else matters, but to know you are His children?
I wish I could write plays like my fellow 20 year old, Mr. Knightingale. Alas, I spend my time in other interests. I can only support this bright young man, and deem me as dignified and my equal. As Charles is as well, my dear Charles. And my friend Johannes, one of my favorite folk on the planet. I am blessed with talented friends. I should never forget that, when the wind of melancholy comes and try to claim me, to their island of sorrow and desolation. I am happy to have written this today! It is another one of those reflections, that I like developing, on the blog. What else is there to be said?
To wrap things about, I could talk about the plans for the rest of my day! Those include: reading, drawing another portrait, this time to my friend Marco. Maybe I will play something, and if Charles is available, I will hang out with him. This is what I can tell, for now, and it sounds pleasant. This next week, I will go to my grandma's, specially to celebrate Christmas! And I will take new creative pictures of the decorations, and we will have a wonderful season, with much nourishing food and blessings. A nice way to wrap up a difficult year. And, I shall return to the blog to write at some point next week, too. I want to have a post before Christmas, and at least one post at the Christmas day. Ideally, though, I'd write one on the eve, one on the day. Well, we'll see. Until then, again, wish you the best! See you again real soon.
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