Hey everyone, good morning, and happy Friday! How are you today? I am resisting to write a blog post for a whole week, at this point. Very frustrating. I cannot focus, and every time I think I will do it, I either get sleepy or think that I’m being insufferable. It does not help I have been feeling alone these days… I miss dear friend Johannes, wish we could chat more. I so have other friends, such as Sam and Flo and Tibor, but overall, the list of online friends I can chat with has been shrinking for a while. The reason is varied… apparently it is very hard to make new friends, online and specially offline, but losing them, from losing touch to straight out getting estranged to them, as well as bitter conflicts? All too easy… I love the friends I do have more than I can say, the fact I wish I could chat more with Johannes is one proof of my affection. It is enough. But most times I don’t have many I can chat with on a daily basis about mundane things… because everyone has a life… I wish I had one, too, sometimes. This is the reason I’m always scrapping posts, I am scared of venting out, of lamenting, and people calling me out on it. Or giving me solutions I can’t proceed to do, such as “go work out”… I have this ocean of sadness inside of me, and many times when I go to speak about it, it spills out, and I hate that happens because I can get called out on it… I think I’ve mentioned, I cried the whole birthday through, I was feeling utterly alone and neglected. I still tend to feel that way. It sucks. I hate this. I dream with the day I will be surrounded by friends and loving people that I value. I wish people weren’t so busy all the time. I am being unfair, ain’t I? Johannes is so kind to me, so is Sam, so is Florius, so is Tibor, so are all the people I’m blessed with in my life. They are kind and always make some time for me, and go out of their way to show affection and support, I am deeply grateful… and I wish it was enough. I do have a huge need for talking and company, though… I don’t know how to address this… Either way, I appreciate you, dear friend, reader of this post. You are enough to me. Don’t mind my loneliness… it is okay… I will see tomorrow through. You and I, we can share the silence, like old friends do.
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