Hello, everyone! Good morning, happy Thursday! How are you today? How are things going? How is the weather? Here, April is wrapping up likely with some rain, it was a hot month, as I figured out is still the season of Fall, but we can't say it didn't have its cold days. And how am I? I mean, that's not a simple question to answer, at the moment. Overall, I'm okay, the load of paperwork I had in the past few months is retreating, but that being said, I'm gaining weight, and I'm already very overweight, can't seem to be able to control my health too well, I get discouraged... And also, like I said in the title of the post, I have a bad feeling I'll fail this semester, all the three disciplines I'm having. Why is that? Am I saying just to be edgy or pessimistic? No. One of the assignments I have is to create a comics with art history as a theme, I won't do it, I don't have the desire to do so, I already failed the first assignment, I don't have a single clue on how to work on such thing, comic, I mean... My drawing abilities are unfortunately limited at the moment. I have little orientation on what should I do with it. And the other assignment already is done, and I failed, because it was to create a freaking lamp. I have not a single interest in product design for the moment, specially not on the bias and the orientation of those teachers. I missed many classes, for various reasons, and the class I went to yesterday was just terrible, I hated it. It makes me wonder "why am I doing this?". It ends up, again, being just to say to people "well, I'm doing something". Better than nothing, right? I mean, no job perspective in the horizon. I really haven't had any idea on what should I do to sustain myself more independently. I know what I don't want to do, and the list is rather long. Also, forgot to mention, The third discipline, I have no idea if I even have an assignment I'm missing, I'm not there, only went to one class. Saying this out loud is risky, it comes with the possibility of people calling you names, saying you suck for a number of reasons... I just feel I'm at the verge of deep sadness. Can I call it depression? I've been there before... I don't know, I am not entirely sure of how it works, what I know is that I am not a successful person, and it is a long and frustrating journey for one to become successfull, I am not sure if I started with it, I also don't want to face the consequences of not doing anything, such as desolation and poverty. I must do something, but I have no idea what, I'm desperate. I am not vibing with this course. Not seeing what I want to see. It sucks to just whine about it, doesn't it? Most would say do something, but you can't do something if you don't know what to do. So far, many things seem out of reach and I don't feel secure. Dont know if this is how I feel in the past days, if it's a worrysome trend, if it will go away. I have problems, that's all I'm saying, problems bigger than me that I can't face it too well. I think I needed to vent to the void. Maybe someone would read this and relate? Not sure. Either way, some would treat others badly based on their situation, Im not one of those, and I'm not saying I can't do it at all, not giving up, just saying I'm beaten and don't have the path to solution at the moment. Anyway, wish you the best, see you real soon, hopefully on a more uplifting post, even if my situation doesn't improve.
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