This post will be about relationship advice from a guy that has a dysfunctional mind and dysfunctional relationships. I think one ought not to jump into any conclusions, it takes two, always ready to forgive and sometimes even forget if possible. What else is there to say? I am telling you that because I have a friend that I love that I feel is very distant these days. And when I send him a message commenting some of his wonderful pictures on architecture and so on, it just says on Instagram the message was “sent”, he doesn’t see the messages at all… and it makes me think he is ignore me, he is tired of me, I am bothering him, he will block me, he will deny me friendship, he is doing it on purpose, I am hurting him, somehow, causing even an inch of complaint. This all is soul wrenching and it steals not only what is left of my happiness, but also any motivation I may have for any other activities. I become always on a state of alert. Always worried, always checking to see if a message was sent back, always checking if I am to be blocked. Always on the wait, always at the edge of my seat. Who can live like that? I certainly cannot. Even now I opened Instagram to see if my message was at least seen by him. It was not, or was it? Check again… that’s OCD on a nutshell I suppose, it is not something of my head, OCD, something I made up for sympathy. Check again, yes, that is OCD. Check again. And check just to be sure once again. This is not lack of God, or some moral defect. This is a fact, my brain works like that. I am not praising this, I am stating a fact. I am not confirming it because I want that, and no, if you ignore it, it will not go away, most likely the opposite. This is the reason I say do not jump into conclusions. Always think the best of your friend, stop trying not to get hurt by expecting the worse. He is not ignoring me, he is busy. He is happy but busy, he will get back to me as soon as he can, so I hope. Another thing is: it takes two. Don’t carry a whole relationship by yourself or else it will most likely end up like this. Let him do a bit of the heavy lifting as well, so you can keep on walking. Let him acknowledge how amazing and awesome and perfect and such an honorable fellow you are, and he will likely message you back, and things be happier again. I am saying this not because I’m a hypocrite, I am trying to write this down for me to understand and practice that as well. I am also a control freak who loves to solve things instantly, if possible, a lover of convenience. It is an engine for progress in the rightful hands, but for me, just a bothersome thing to say the least. Don’t be that control freak about your friend. He loves you like a brother, he is just busy now, doing some stuff he can’t avoid, but he always appreciate you. What else is there to say? Most likely I ought to either rest or get more coffee. Maybe even do both! I don’t want to burn out, I don’t want to be in distress. Just how things are… what else is there to say?
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