Good morning to you, dear reader of this post, and happy Monday! How are you today? How is the weather? Can I tell you how I am feeling, also? It is just… another morning with sad feelings. Even with the day being all rainy and cozy, the way I appreciate the most… just not feeling that good. It is frustrating, when you have those feelings in a row, like you can’t tackle them. At least is morning, the day is still fresh and so on... I cannot believe my blog will be 5 years old in just a couple of weeks... It is weird, isn't it? And yet I can still remember the day I had the idea of doing it. It was just because I was flooding the dms of my friends, and a friend in particular, with my thoughts, I needed a place where I could talk it further without suffocating a friendship, so here we are, the divagation store! From my worst moment since 2014, to the weird years of 2019 and 2020... Between 2020 and 2021 I moved three times! Imagine that... When I created the blog, I still shared the bedroom with mother and brother! Just us three, now each one has its own place to be, thank Goodness. I made more drawings than I was expecting in 2021 and 2022, and I arrived in 2023 still doing them! Can we call it an achievement? When I was creating my blog, I was almost done with a semester of architecture college. Today, I am trying to get through business and management... Is college a massive waste of time? And yet... what else is there for me to do? I am not used to work, not yet... Thinking when it comes to it, that doesn't help. The world around me is crumbling apart and I don't have the means to run away anywhere, though I consider that more plausible in my mind. I am convinced this is the worst place to be, and as much as Europe and America are in a bad shape, in comparison to some past years ago, their bad days seem like cozy dreams in comparison to the really crude reality of Brazil. Am I this wicked for turning to sadness so easily? Am I overreacting? I mean... life, materially wise, apart from financial issues, is more than endurable. I have coffee, don't struggle with food deficiency, I have a phone, internet, and a laptop... I have a roof over my head. You know, though, life is more than this. I wish I could chat with my favorite person, my friend, that is absent at the moment, and I have a real fear of not being able to anytime soon. Not messaging him as much as I want to, is so hard. And yet, if I messaged him as much as I want to, it would suffocate and he'd be gone. Also, not a good scenario. to say the least. I wish I could find a good job, you know... ah, something that does not feel impossible, and yet gives me opportunity to still do my things, like drawing, and having time to play the videogames, and talk to friends. It is a balance, it is something that I could do, but that would not be too much of a hard manual labor, I'd dwindle and perish doing so, I like thinking, I like creativity. I ought to think everything is so mechanical today, so much focus on technology, which is applied math, physics, chemistry.... I was never really good at those. Math for me is as dry as the Sahara...
Would you look at that, we reached another milestone: a new post entirely written! Believe me, I don't take those for granted, not anymore. I appreciate this, I feel like I am having a conversation with friends that I appreciate, even if no one replies back, or ever will.
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