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Highlighted Quotes That Caught my Attention At The Moment

“The first fact about the celebration of birthdays is that it is a good way of affirming defiantly, and even flamboyantly, that it is a good thing to be alive.” – G.K. Chesterton.

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In Which we have a September alongside Crisis, Ballet, and Christmas Expectation

Happy Wednesday, my good friend, dear reader of this post! How are you? As for me, I am okay... as okay as I could be, given how extremely turbulent the month of September has been, specially mentally. I have had days of much melancholy and boredom is corroding my will to live. As an example with what I have to deal with, conflicts with my brother become more rispid, as the distance between us mount further. Gaming brings no joy most of the time. I do feel like in a dead end. Energy levels are bellow 0, I am happy if I can get out of bed, at all. Fortunately, today was above average, so I am using this to write a post on the blog, I haven't had the chance to do it in a while. It was a month of low productivity, and given how depressed I've become, I am surprised I managed to do anything at all. How I miss dear Johannes, I wish we could chat at some point, he is usually absent, and we do not have the chance to chat most of the time. Fortunately, today was relatively above averag
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In Which It Seems the Grinding Era is Past Us All

Good morning, friend! Happy Thursday, and I wish you the best! How are you, today? How are things? How is the weather? As for me... the weather has been okay, the best it has ever been in a while... the clouds are blocking the most of the sun, it has been raining pleasantly, and no thunders! How wonderful, and it was true of this Wednesday, and has been true for this Thursday, and I hope it keeps up this way, though it is summer, and in this season we can only expect the scorching heat to come back at one time or the other, and even sooner than one would like. And as for me, I am okay, took me a while to wake up today, though. I was walking and making coffee at 6AM, but my brain only properly lifted the fog of sleep at 8AM or so... somedays it does not take me much time at all, some others however, take me longer than I'd like. I have not drawn much this week unfortunately. I hope I can do a doodle or so this Friday... I am not sure, feeling unmotivated at the moment. One of those moments where I can see no progress and no continuity. No... desire to do it, at all. Maybe it is part of my new year's tradition, the multiple burn outs and so on. Maybe what I could do is draw less this year...? We will see, we are not even 11 days into 2024, and I at some moments am already at my doom and gloom scenarios... when so much of bad has happened to you, it gets hard to believe something good may happen as well.

I hope I can chat with a friend at some point. It has been a fixed point in my head, but it is a hope I like to have, and tend to hold to it much more than I should... makes me vulnerable to much frustration. What the rest of this day hold on for me? I really hope I can have some time and energy to try out The Sims 3 once again! I have returned to it, or at least installed it back into my computer. As I mentioned, I have been on a tad of drawing burn out, so I will not push for drawing at this present Thursday. Maybe I will feel particularly inspired, but not holding my breath of forcing myself to brainstorm. I am just blessed and happy I have this blog to write on. Right now, it is all I am doing and I would not desire anything else. I also may continue reading about empress Maria Theresa, I am also happy I got some more books to read after this one, such as the story of Harun Al-Rashid, and Frederich of Prussia, and more Maria Theresa... amongst other books on my library that I have not explored yet.


A lovely rose yard!

Should I close today's post at this point? I am in a creative mood, because I had some more coffee for lunch. Sometimes extra coffee makes me anxious and prone to have moments of pure agony, where I repeat the same behavior over and over, just to make sure I have done it, and so I can move on to the next task with perfection, but since I repeat myself over and over, the second task never comes, and the day is essentially over for me... I end up exhausted, as it take much mental energy. It is a reason I take medicine, it helps me pull the brakes on my brain. Just to regulate things. One step at a time. I have been journaling here more, it is what I appreciate on the blog, and on writing. I know many won't get interested, but since the "grinding days" so to speak are very much behind me, and never even 20% adopted, I don't mind.

I mean, do you remember when I had so many people online around me pushing for that streamer dream? So many stupid folk, I am happy that many are past me, now. It hurt at that moment to even suffer humiliations, but today, I could not care less for them, not even a bit. This long era of my life, from 2018, I trust was over fully around 2023, though in 2022 the exhaustion was already palpable. What else is on, I am not sure. I can only hope for good friends, finding people I like and that like me back.... on this topic, I will return soon, but for now, what else is there to be said?

I will return to this publication around... I am never sure, around the weekend... maybe tomorrow, if I am up to the not always happy task of writing. Next week should be special, my grandma Anne will be 80 years old! Now, that is a milestone to be celebrated! I will write on this soon, I hope, but for now, see you again real soon!!!!!!! 

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