Good morning, my friend, reader of this post! Happy Friday, and I wish you the best!! How are you, today? How was your 4th of July? I had a calm day, but my satisfaction was clouded by my grandpa in the hospital at the moment, much to my concern and distress. He is once again struggling with his intestines. I pray that God may heal him soon, and that this episode may not cause any trouble, that it may be just one more bad episode in a life that should continue further and further. Ah, but even with the concerns, and some personal woes, as I am haunted by this person who rejected my friendship, I had a relatively peaceful day. It was fine. I played Victoria 3, as Japan. What a painful nation to reform, this one may be even worse than Russia or Brazil. I restarted plenty of times, and I will do it again at some point, even today, this July 5th. I have other games in mind to play, such as the new acquisition Railway Empire 2, and Caesar IV. Maybe some Grand Ages, maybe some Sims 3... Too many games, not enough time, definitely not enough time. Well, but I must say, much better to struggle with finding time to play a game, because I want to try everything, than being uninspired, and feeling numb in my mind, a thought I try to keep as far away as I can from my mind. People say I should do what I like, to keep the deep depression and melancholy of chronic loneliness away. The cloud that will end me. Why is it so painful. Why has he forsaken me? Why can't I keep the friends I want? Why are people so despicable? Why, Jimmy Brown, did you left me? I don't know what will be of me. But games help, not all times, but times enough.
I dare not have hope of having a good birthday. I want a new phone, but the financial situation of my father is catastrophic, and he is lethargic, not doing anything to help himself, not nearly enough as he should. Unclear how grandma would help me, either. Mom cannot have the burden all by herself, and I have no money, rather the opposite. The fan broke down, which is a nightmare. I don't think Johannes will make some time to chat with me. Ah, my best friend, unfortunately is always so busy and I guess I am not enough to convince him to make some time for me. I don't deserve it. Happiness is not on the books. I guess, I can only be content on being alive and relatively healthy, and having a mom that loves me. I pray that you forgive me, dear reader, for this deep melancholy and deep sorrow, I have no place else to vent, no place else where I'd feel a bit satisfied in sharing my woes. You, dear friend, is all I have. I am grateful that you are here. Thank you!
This is being just an impromptu post. I don't always feel like writing, so when the desire comes, I just want to chat and hang out. Journaling can be a consolation, and the truth sets you free. Should I wrap up today's post around here? Have I written enough to justify its existence? Well, I guess so. No need to worry, though, if anything, as I will be back soon, hopefully by next week. Until then, wish you the best, and happy Friday!
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