In Which I like Birthdays and Dislike Late Afternoons
I want to wish you a good morning, dear friend, reader of the present post. There has been a difficult set of days. Immense anxiety, and agony that is quite hard to explain. Self doubt has been a constant. I wrote the apology here, and just opened up my heart over the woes of the mind and what was lost in translation, towards Adam, and the fact it was a good thing, I think, it also caused in me immense anguish. I want to say that he is an immense and extraordinary human no matter if I never get closure on my end or not. Sadness is no excuse to ever naysay anyone. But sadness there is. That wall of deep fog, the one that is a wall, a blank curtain that allows for no continuation. That is how I feel. And the desperation of the void. Perhaps one could tell as depression, I do not desire to use the clinical language here. Just quiet desperation. And lonely melancholia. That said, today I am, for some hours, okay. It has been hard to keep heads up. Most times, my main hobby does not pr...